


χYZ

by HarpersFaery



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Disney - All Media Types, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts 2
Genre: AU but still canon compliant?, Alternate Universe, Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, Game: Kingdom Hearts II, Gen, I'm changing only certain things up because otherwise they make NO SENSE, M/M, Self-Insert, kingdom hearts - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 19:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16501130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarpersFaery/pseuds/HarpersFaery
Summary: GermanProper nounXYZ1.	used to replace a random personal name when describing a possible situation or when having forgotten the name in question.In hindsight, the Rule of Law regarding who exactly gets to be a Bearer of the Keyblade aren't as simple and finite as say, the Rules of Hair Care. Someone should probably fix that. Until then, taking the lowest road possible out of the way of the Plot was the best option for staying alive.But at least this wasn't Chain of Memories.





	χYZ

_In the velvet darkness_  
_Of the blackest night_  
_Burning bright, there's a guiding star_  
_No matter what, or who you are_

 _There's a light_  
_(Over at the Frankenstein Place)_  
_There's a light_  
_(Burning in the fireplace)_  
_There's a light, light_  
_In the darkness of everybody's life_

 _The darkness must go_  
_Down the river of night's dreaming_  
_Flow morpheus slow_  
_Let the sun and light come streaming_  
_Into my life, into my life_

 _There's a light_  
_(Over at the Frankenstein Place)_  
_There's a light_  
_(Burning in the fireplace)_  
_There's a light, light_  
_In the darkness of everybody's life_

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**_OH!_ **

\--χ--

The sky was blue, the dirt was brown, and the door was shut.

That sentence alone wouldn’t strike anyone as strange. Amongst the scant few inalienable truths afforded to her at this very moment, two out of three stood by her side like dear friends. Familiar, loyal, dependable.

The third was, well...

The sky was  _blue_ , the dirt was  _brown_ , and the door was  _shut._

Above her head stretched the endless expanse of sky, over the limestone walls that corralled her in. Puffy, white columns of cumulonimbus drifted by like perfectly sculpted pillows of cotton candy in shades of pinks and golds that made that blue sky even bluer in contrast.

Compulsively, she dusted off the leg of her jeans. There would be no way to get rid it completely without a bath, but at least she got most of it out of her hair. All that was left were smudges on her clothes and hands from where she’d been laying in the dry, brown dirt that made up the floor of this impressive structure.

A hundred or so feet away, standing at the top of a short set of gilded stairs, was a door. It was framed by three stone pillars with a pediment that sat atop. Its relief, painted gold, depicting a scene of two winged beasts flanking a spear-bearing warrior of Grecian fashion. The door, or gates rather, were also gold, and towering, and they remained shut... No matter  _what_  she did to open them (without calling too much attention to herself, anyway).

She was in the midst of a downward spiral, going off the deep end into a breakdown of epic proportions. Still, she wasn’t  _stupid._  It wasn’t as if she wasn’t trying to actively trying to be, but when succumbing to the madness that plagued her meant the loss of one’s heart-

The weakening of the Heart was the loss of it altogether; lock, stock, and barrel.

 _In fact, I mean not to. I’d rather snort a line of natto than become a mindless toadie to that Walking STI of a Keyblade Master._  She thought with no small amount of spite and vehemence.  _I’d rather do a LOT of things than let that happen, so Disassociation it is then! Disassociation and Righteous Fury!_

As well as hope, or so she hoped. That hope was what kept her going, what had her searching the entire front floor plan from top to bottom for an exit. A hole in reality she could squeeze through like a rat up a drainpipe.

Or a keyhole.

_-Snort-_

Worlds gone. Doors locked. This sucked but at least she was somewhere relevant

So focused she was on the issue of breaking out of the proverbial cage she was trapped in that the figure creeping up behind went completely unnoticed.

“Well hey there Beautiful, what seems to be problem?”

With a “FUCKING HELL-!” probably heard from the top of Mount Olympus she wheeled around backpedaling, nearly tripping over her own feet. Half a second later, face frozen in incredulity, thoughts a mile a minute, she realized that probably was not the best thing to say; but what could she say? What could she say now? Even portrayed in the movie and the game as a Major Villain, a sleazy snake-oil salesman God of the Underworld, the dude was a God. A Fucking  _God_.

And he was hitting on her. Wasn’t he _married_? 

Rhetorical question. Last thing she needed right now was getting turned into her namesake because someone couldn't stop being a literal Greek God, and all that implies, for two seconds. Persephone wasn’t No Bitch.

Vainly attempting to pull herself together after her outburst, and  _not_  stare at his head that was Very Much On Fire, or the hems of his robes which Seemed To Fade Out Of This Plane Of Existence, she cleared her throat and bowed her head.

“O! Ploutōn! Lord Aidoneus, Hades Ruler of Many-”

“Huh! Did  _not_  expect that, but I like where this is going~ What else ya got, Babe?”

“-Sovereign of Tartarus, Summanus - Prince of the Dead, Glorious Tellumo-”

"Y’know, it’s not often I get this kinda thing. My shmuck of a big brother gets  _all_  the bowing and the scraping, all that love and adoration. And what do I get? Do I get anything? Any appreciation? No.”

“-O! Uragus! Great Efklæís! The Black God, Nekrôn Sôtêr-”

“ _Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhmhmhm~_ Oh _yeah_. That’s the stuff~”

“If I may be so bold, O! Lord?”

“Oh  _do_  be bold, Hot Stuff.”

“How is the Lady Phærrǽphatta? Kóri, O! Queen of Earth and Mortals?”

Out of the corner of her eye blue flames sputtered and choked as the Lord of the Dead mentally pumped his breaks, pulling at the neck of his robes as if to ventilate away the wave of AWKWARD that reared its ugly head. “Persephone? Oh, she’s, she’s doin’ great! Just fine! Peachy... Yeesh, is it hot in here or is it just me?”

Game, set, match~

She raised her head. “May I be permitted to speak freely, Lord Hades?"

Grumbling, the god waved an acquiescing hand. "Yeah, sure, knock yourself out Sweetheart." Like the wind had been knocked out of his sails. Mostly.

Mostly is good.

Straightening herself up she considered his appearance, glancing over her shoulder to where he'd come from. "How long were you watching me?"

"Ooooh, long enough to notice you're avoiding going inside. Not tryin' to go talk to Wonder Boy and the satyr, are we? Bit interesting in my book." Hades sidled closer, a smirk creeping over his features like smoke.

"I've got my reasons." Ignore the fact he's right over her shoulder. Ignore the blatant disregard for personal space. _Ignore._  "You waiting for something?"

"Or someone. Let's have a little chat, shall we?" The god wrapped his arm around her shoulders, gliding across the floor as he drew her away from the Lobby doors. If Hades noticed her shoulders going ramrod straight, the intensity of her Bitch Face ramping up from a 5 to a 50, he disregarded them altogether.

Privately, she couldn't help but notice how _damn cool_ that gliding was. She'd never say that to his face however; hell would freeze over first.

He also smelled like sulphur, and dampness. With an aftertaste of strange floral-like honey.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and say you got a pretty good idea of what's happened, yeah?"

"You mean the all encompassing **DARKNESS** -" Pause for Xemnas' Dramatic Effect(™), "-that wiped out everything in sight? Scoured the land and everyone in it until that was the only thing that remained? Falling into an endless abyss only to crawl your way out of it to find everything you once knew was gone? Yeah, I can take a wild guess."

"Waking up all alone in a strange place, I'm sure your last memories from before were _delightful_ , and what do you do? Try... to get out." The way he looked at her then made all the hair on the nape of her neck stand on end. "Straight to business, I like that. No muss, no fuss."

"I still don't get why you're watching me from the shadows like some creep."

"Oof, touch-y."

She turned around to face him. Brown eyes glinting with angry amber met an inhuman, eerie yellow. "Straight to business, right? I don't have a lot of time to be stuck here-"

"See, that's what your problem is. You're stuck? I can get you what you want, and more."

Years of dealing with things far beyond her ken prepared her for this very moment. When she got back - when _everyone_ was back - she was going to put out the most insane offering on her altar she could imagine. Pastries out the shit. 

"My freedom?" She quipped. Oh, the _irony_.

"Anything! Fame, wealth, men, women," Ahhh, the Greeks. Always the equal opportunists. " _Power_. Anything you want, Babe." Hades lowered his voice. "What about all your friends and family you just lost, hm? I bet you'd like to see them again."

A piece of her self-control chipped away with an ominous  _SNAP_ **.**

 _Oh no the HELL you did NOT just GO THERE!_ "And what do you get out of it? What's the catch?" Her eyes narrowed, fixing Hades with a penetrating, laser-like stare. She bit back the rage-induced tongue lashing behind her teeth. It wouldn't help her, not with him. "There's always a catch with you types. You'll forgive me for being blunt, I'm a little gun-shy over deals with people like you."

The god went unphased. He pulled her closer, his voice sultry and slimy in her ear. "You've got something that I want. Possibly. If it works out, and I get you out, then you work for me. Ooooor-" His grey arm spread out wide before them, the other hand gripping her shoulder in an uncomfortable embrace. "You can stay _right_ here. Locked inside this small, dull world with Jerkules and the Nanny Goat for the rest of eternity. Until that pesky mortal coil takes you on a one-way trip... my way. Or a Heartless. Take your pick."

"How do I know there's not another exit out of this damn place?"

"Hey, if there was? You'd've found it already, wouldn't you?" He sneered, reminding her of her previous failed efforts as he pointed at her massive foe. "Let's cut to the chase: That Gate is the only way in or out of this entire joint, besides the option I'm giving you. You know it. I know it. You need a way to get around. Traveling outside without _protection_? Not gonna happen. You need a guide... and I can get you where you need to go."

"Do you honestly think for one second I believe this used car salesman spiel?" She drawled, unconvinced. "You think I'm going to be pigeonholed into selling my soul on your word alone that you know the _only_ other way? I'd rather sit here and decompose."

"Well, you know what they say, Sweetheart: The mouse that has one hole is quickly taken.”

She blinked. Her mind, wiped free of vexing distractions, suddenly all-too clear. There was one, single rule with which all Kingdom Hearts canon lived by since the time she was knee-high to a crab louse, scrabbling against her little brother over who would play for the next hour on those lazy Saturday mornings. Lighting up like a Hollywood neon sign against the bleak black of her mind.

That was it. That was the reason that Hades was even here, hounding her. There was no other possible explanation that was evidenced by her very existence after the death of her world and an attempt at hard-pressing her into a deal with the devil straight out the gate. By all rights it was stupid reasoning, and badly defined in her opinion, but by the canon it had to be:

That she still standing meant the keenly distinct possibility she'd gained the power to wield a Keyblade.

Her chain of thought choked up. 

_But that was.. That was not possible-_

The voice of the despicable deity cut through the veiled haze of denial like a reapers' scythe.

"Call me curious, but how'd you get into this kinda thing? I mean, I get the feeling it ain't that common where you're from."

From out of the gloom of self-deprecation and bullshit impossibilities, a gleefulness swelled in her chest. Truthfully, she'd been waiting to see if he'd figure it out himself, her little open secret, just to see the look on his skeezy face, but he hadn't. Oh no, he hadn't.

This was going to be beautiful _._

"Well, you can thank golden nephew for that-"

"Ahhhh. Artists. Gotcha." 

"-and your "shmuck of a big brother," I believe was how you phrased it." _Boom. Mic drop._

Hades rolled his eyes with a heavy sigh, looking every inch like someone had just pissed in his Cheerios. His arms fell in exasperation. "Of course. Ooooof _course_. Why am I not surprised?"

"You should see me in a thunderstorm. It's _electrifying_ ~ Not my fault you didn't do your homework." She thought for sure the Powers That Be had some sort of background check system in place or something so this sort of thing didn't happen. _The more you know._

"When in the River Styx did this happen?"

"When I was like.. four? Five?" It took everything in her power to not laugh as his lip curled in distaste. Even the flames on his head flickered with pique. "Gotta be quicker than that, dude."

Hades took a moment to consider her words, and smirked. Chuckling sinisterly, Hades shook off his funk and pressed on, extending his hand towards her. "Oh. I intend to, Babe. So? I get you out, you work for me. We got a deal?"

Shitshitshit. She needed a door.

"Going once-"

Needed a door and means by which to leave. A Corridor of Darkness was out. At no point did she want to think about what was needed for one of those things to work properly. Even if she summoned a Keyblade, even if she was able to unlock the world, if there was no  _safe_ way to escape without a damn ship then she did need help. She needed someone who could do both.

"Going twice-"

A thought dawned upon her then as her eyes cast about the various columns of limestone, the light around them beginning to darken into various soft periwinkles and brilliant violets to herald the slowly encroaching dusk. The pieces came together into a mosaic of brilliant revelation.

She had an idea. She had a terrible, _awful_ idea. One only slightly better than selling her soul.

 _Certainty of death. Small chance of success. ..What am I waiting for?_ Hades was gearing up for his third count when she quickly interrupted. 

"I'm about to do something dreadfully stupid. But I thank you for your offer, O! Lord. Going to pass." She grinned impishly, giving an oh-so helpless shrug. "Can't. Love to, but can't."

The momentary confusion that flitted over Hades' face was ambrosia from the Gods. "Waitaminute. How-never mind. _Fine_. If you ever, y'know, change your mind? Need a favor?" A heavy pause hung in the space between them, a promise of ancient power left unfulfilled as the Lord of the Underworld disappeared into thin air, not unlike the dense fog upon a dark and distant moor.

_"I'll be waiting..."_

Seconds passed. A soft, breeze blew warmly through the spot of cold the God of Death left behind in his wake. The scent of floral-honey lingered.

"I thought I was in _Hercules_ , not _Sinbad_." She said out loud to herself, dripping with sarcasm. Mostly. She wondered if he got that trick from Eris or if that some god tier Olympian party trick. "Didn't even get the chance to introduce myself, as usual."

To business then, now that the peanut gallery took an exit, stage left.

Breath exited her chest in a slow exhale. Arms loosened and dropped to her side, the warm breeze caressing her cheek amidst the silence of the empty Coliseum surrounding her. Beating back the instinctive self-doubt that tried to claw its way up her esophagus she closed her eyes and concentrated.

Minutes ticked by. The wind began to cool. The sun tucked itself away into twilight.

Faith, trust, and pixie dust. She had to take a chance at hope, to _believe_. For her friends, for her family, for all those lost in some madman's lust for power. All those times before where she swore she would take a stand, that she wouldn't sit idly by-

 _Alright, enough of the long-winded, hero pep talk. Either I got it or I don't._ She shook out her hand once, twice, chuckling at herself.  _Just a flick of the wrist, right-?_

In a flash and shower of glitter a heaviness settled in her right hand. A metal handle, already warm to the touch, nestled itself with all the contentedness of ones pet in-between the grip of her fingers and palm.

The scene cuts away. A woman's voice intones solemnly:

"And then I swore a _lot_."

The scene cuts back.

After flinging it away (out of pure  _reflex)_ exuberant, hysterical laughter and celebration echoed amidst the grand pillars when it popped back into her hand. Her eyes bore over it, noticing even the tiniest of details, drinking it in like a man utterly starved of water:

It was **GOLD**. Completely bereft of any other color on the entirety of the Keyblade. 

A round knob tipped the end. 

Just below that where the flat of the teeth sat a small, familiar laurel blossom, it's equally familiar branches and leaves were pressed into the flattened area connecting it to the rest of the shaft. The branches curled and coiled to the end the surface of the two pieces that made of the key's teeth, an 'S' of Grecian-like design, mirroring one another. 

Its shaft was solid and unblemished from the teeth all the way to the handle guard, about the full length of her arm. 

The handle guard itself was fancy in a way that pleasantly surprised her. Where the shaft ended a metallic fleur-de-lys, embellished with ribbon, flourished. It curled around the unmistakable rendition of the Kingdom Hearts crown that graced the game's logo.

A glittering laurel crown encircled the handle, which was columnar in fashion, all the way to the pommel. From there a small winged dragon with its own little crown dangled at the end of its simple chain. It too was solid gold.  

Could this be how Sora had felt, she wondered dumbstruck, her fingers tingling (trembling) against the handle, the first time it came to him in that deep Darkness? Fumbling unseen for something just out of his reach, something his _heart_ knew was there?

She raised the key up to the now deep purple sky, riddled with clouds that floated above. Where they before held a serene sweetness they now bore a towering magnificence, like gates onto the heavens themselves.

She really hoped that sign was more literal than figurative.

_O! Fates, please, guide me.. Let me not screw this up completely.. Allow me to open the Door.. To summon-_

The golden keyblade lit up with an iridescent light. It tingled, plunging up to her elbows in a barrel of bubbling soda as she watched power build and swirl on the end, until finally a beam of sparkling energy - of _Magic_ \- shot into the air. An array of alchemical summoning decked to the nines with runes and ancient formulae the likes of which haven't been seen in centuries flared to life in mid-air. Circles spinning like clock gears on its face, growing in brightness to herald the impending arrival.

The lightning before the world-shaking thunder.

She _marveled_ at it.

A bolt of plasma and magic of fathomless power struck the ground, blinding her on contact, and "something dreadfully stupid" appeared out of the fading light.

All six foot one, leather-clad of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is folks, my very own self-insert Kingdom Hearts fanfic (lol, self-gratification what's that?). One that’s been a long time coming. Things are about to get hairy right out of the gate; pun intended. Let’s see who figures out what kind of terrible thing I’ve unleashed.
> 
> Yes yes, I know, I have a few other fanfictions that I've already posted that are due for an update. I'm so sorry for the delay! I'll get to those soon, promise. I've had other projects and RL come up and keep my attention.
> 
> I now have a blog up just for this fanfic! Join me at [Kingdom Hearts: χYZ](https://kingdomheartsxyz.tumblr.com/) to ask me questions about stuff in the canon!
> 
> Finally, my Keyblade, of which I am very happy with how it came out:


End file.
